i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
