my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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