I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
