windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
