Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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