Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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