Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
