my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
