I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
