It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
