Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize