My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
