So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
