I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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