READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
