and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
what day is it and did you see me today?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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