We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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