Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
