You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
