PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
