I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
