Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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