end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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