Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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