Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
