You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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