I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
