maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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