so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
