I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
