this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
