do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
