So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
