I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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