C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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