When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
