only if we run a train.
done.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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