gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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