you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
