Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
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