found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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