i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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