There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
