the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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