Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
