Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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