Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
