you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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