I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
