We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
