I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
