I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
