i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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