My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
