Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
