Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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