the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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