I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
