ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
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