where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
