why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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