Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Randomize
