I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
