Define "chronic" masturbator.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
